What is it about control? Some of us want it, others of us wish to surrender it. It can be intoxicating, seductive, the handing over of control to another for our sexual gain and excitement. Some of us are drawn to men that are dominating like moths to a flame, some is exciting, a bit too much can be frightening. Some of us like control in one area of our lives and to give it over in a sexual situation.
Many men that are into being submissives are in fact very much into control in their daily lives. It’s that reversal of power, that surrender to the dark side, the intensity that it provides us we are otherwise lacking. Can be just like a drug. Intensity is like drug, an exciting, sometimes dangerous letting go. Most of us can control it. It feels good when we make someone jealous-to a degree. What happens though when it becomes smothering and overwhelming? That is too much of a good thing.
The ones into BDSM and restraints and whips, floggers, blindfolds, ball gags, that can all be fun play stuff as long as everyone is in agreement. It’s important to find someone that’s a good match sexually to us so one isn’t left wanting. Some very vanilla people just do not have it in them to behave in such a way, even if it would highly arouse their partner. Not having a good match sexually many times is what drives people to seek excitement outside of the relationship in the first place.