Two Inch, Two Pump Chump

There’s so many tiny dick guys that call, it’s hard to keep them all straight. Last night I had a two inch wonder that says if he lasts twenty five seconds, that’s a long time for him. He hadn’t heard the term “two pump chump” before, but certainly agreed it fits him perfectly. I asked if masturbation was his only outlet, since I assumed no woman would have him, then he stated he was married, which prompted my next question. Do you make a lot of money? Bingo. Pretty much the only equalizer to a small penis is if they have a lot of dough, you’ll always be able to find a broad if you’re loaded, no matter how old, ugly, or tiny you are.

He said his wife had never been with another man, so she knew no different, but she’d let it slip to her best friend how small he was, and the best friend pressured her to find a lover, which she did. The husband with the two incher watched and was amazed at the reactions his wife made to this man. He said he’d never heard her moan in pleasure before, so he assumed she didn’t like sex. I laughed and said no, she doesn’t like sex with you, since there’s nearly nothing there to get fucked by.

He said his balls are also small, when I asked if they were the size of grapes, he said more like raisins, lol. He hadn’t had many experiences other than his wife, since he simply did not pursue women, since he knew it would likely end in rejection and laughter, so it was easier to just avoid such an outcome by avoiding it at all. He’d been laughed at before by the couple of women he had some minimal experiences with before getting married, and yes, she knew what it looked like before walking down the aisle, incredibly enough. So he’s embraced his new life as a cuckold. I told him it’s likely the best answer for all involved.

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The Priest Sucked Him Off

A caller the other day was telling me about his same sex fantasies, a very common topic for calls, and how he feels they began after when he was young and a priest molested him. He went to an all boys Catholic school and said he thought this priest was doing this to a lot of the boys there and even though the boys didn’t come right out and say it, there were many veiled references to this and how they all had been affected by it. He said however that he liked the things the priest did to him. He was sucked off many times by the priest and he enjoyed it.

He said he also recalls laying naked on the priest’s bed and the priest fucking him and fingering him from behind and he liked that as well. I asked if he’d ever told his parents this and he said he did, and they did not believe him. They said a priest was above reproach and he was a dirty, filthy liar for saying such a thing about a man of God. He didn’t bring it up again, he just continued to be touched by the priest and he grew to like it and although he never had other same sex interactions, he fantasizes about it to this day, decades later and he knows this was the root cause of it.

He said he felt many other classmates were going through this exact same thing, and they likely enjoyed it as well. There were no girls around for them, only other males at the school, and the horny priests had a never ending buffet of young cock to play with and they knew few would ever talk about it, so they continued on to enjoy these young boys in any manner they saw fit to with little chance of repercussions. A common tale at many such schools, no doubt.

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Jerking it at Camp

A caller was telling me how when he used to go to summer camp, he’d jerk off with lots of different guys. He never did anything other than masturbate in the same room with guys he claims, but he did it a lot. He said it just heightened the excitement and he enjoyed it a lot more than solo masturbation. There was no shortage of guys at the camp to play with and he said there was lots of gay stuff going on he could have taken part in if he wanted to, he just was not so inclined.

His favorite jerk buddy was in his bunk house and lots of times the others would go for various activities and they would stay behind and be jerking off as soon as the others were out the door. This was before the internet, so there was no free porn to easily turn on, you had to make do with what was at hand, and that was someone else to masturbate with and watch them and have them watch you and just enjoy the experience together. They never got caught, but were both always worried a camp counselor would come in and get them in trouble.

They would often cum a couple of times. Boys that age are often jerking off as quickly as possible to avoid getting caught, but he said he doesn’t rush anymore, no need to, and he edges for literally hours before he calls. He sometimes watched videos of guys masturbating together wince it reminds him of the naughty times in his youth and all the guys he jerked off with. So many callers have confessed to doing this, it seems more boys have done it than not from all the experiences they share masturbating in their youth with friends.

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His Therapist Mocked Him

Sometimes calls can be fun when you’re not expecting them to be. A caller the other night has a fantasy about going to a female therapist and her mocking him, which of course a therapist would never do. Not in front of your face, anyway! He told me this ridiculous fantasy of going to a male personal trainer and the trainer being hung like a horse and noticing him staring at his package during the workout sessions. Then soon after the workout guy starts showing up wearing a Speedo, putting extra emphasis on his overly large cock. Then they go for a hot tub soak after the workout and the trainer is sitting on the edge of the hot tub with his legs spread, crotch at eye level of the one who just worked out.

Then he is told to suck the cock and how can he not, it’s right there in front of him, what’s he to do? He’s relating all of this to the therapist, me, and I’m to tell him he’s a cocksucker and a homo and I’ve known he’s a homosexual and a faggot all along. Laughing and mocking him. He protests he’s not a fag at all, but the trainer pressured him to do so. Yet he freely went back session after session even though the trainer went from sweats, to shorts, to a Speedo.

He protests all along he’s not gay, that he just felt pressured to suck the cock that was presented to him by the aggressive trainer. Not so aggressive though he touches his client, the client does all the reaching, grabbing, sucking, fondling. It’s just the sight of that overly large penis practically spilling out of the tiny bathing suit is too much to bear. Uh huh. You’re a fag, boy, get over it and accept it! It was a funny call and a theme that many that are reluctant to admit they want dick would have.

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His Tight Fittin’ Jeans

There’s a new young man in the neighborhood several of the ladies have had their eyes on. He’s in his late twenties, but looks younger. One of those internet whizzes with a lot of money at a young age. He’s not only got brains, but hot looks. I noticed the day he moved in and those tight fitting jeans of his and the size of his bulge. He obviously has a large dick and is showing it off in the tight pants. I went over to welcome him to the neighborhood, he seems a shy type, which is odd considering the jeans he was wearing, but I guess he knows he’s attractive, if a bit shy. I am double his age, but a fine looking mature lady.

I am also quite confident and have had several younger lovers before. I went over with a freshly baked apple pie and he looked so surprised to see me there. I thought he might just accept the pie with a thank you and send me on my way, but he invited me in and I took this as my chance to make a move. We made small talk and he invited me to come look at the garden, which we did. After a while we went back in and he could help but notice me staring at the bulge in his pants and he smiled.

He said ladies always notice, would I like to have a look? I was wrong in my assumption that he was shy, apparently! He took out his dick and it was a wonder to behold. It had to be ten inches. I asked if I could suck it, and he nodded his head. I got down on my knees in front of him and started to fondle and suck it. I’d never held or sucked a cock as large. I kissed it and drooled over it, swirling my tongue around the tip as I looked in his eyes. I loved it, and so did he. He soon came in my mouth and I got up and said my goodbyes. I had a feeling he was going to get many similar visits by the other ladies in the neighborhood. He had quite the week of welcoming ahead of him.

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