Sometimes vanilla people can be attracted to the perverts out there, and the opposite as well. Sometimes it’s frustrating to be in a relationship like this, since the more vanilla partner will feel uncomfortable going further than they really wish to, and the perverted one will likely feel deprived they aren’t getting all they hoped to in the relationship.
The allure of the mild pervert is apparent, they have a high sex drive and are open to experimenting, both of which are a good thing in a sexual relationship. But when the more pervy of the two starts talking about golden showers and tying you up, it might be a bit overwhelming to say the least to have someone always pushing for more than they want to do. I can understand the vanilla person having a high drive, but a high vanilla drive, just because they like sex a lot, doesn’t mean they want wild sex or dirty sex, and such a pairing may come a cropper in time when neither can go too far to the left or the right.
Can such a seemingly mismatched pair find a middle ground? It depends how much a perv the one is and how vanilla the other one is. I have many clients that call to talk about things that they simply cannot discuss with their wives since they will not indulge their husbands interests. Phone sex with someone that you can talk to about your interests can be a good outlet for a man that doesn’t want to actually have a physical affair with someone. It boggles my mind that some consider phone sex cheating, since it is just talking. Some consider you are still sharing an intimate moment with another person and that’s cheating. Well, if they think that, I cannot change their mind. I think it’s fine.
