There are many perversions to be sure, but some have a particular penchant for placing odd objects up their backsides.
One of the guys I chat with is an Atlanta ER Dr., and he has regaled me with tales of ones brought in after some sexual misadventure gone awry have forced them to seek medical attention for their stupidity. And believe me, when a case like that comes into the ER, the entire hospital knows about it within 5 minutes. Word spreads like wildfire when ones are brought in after doing these things.
He told me a man was brought in with a Barbie doll up his ass and another with-get this-a pine cone, yes, a pine cone. Of course they have to appear professional and not laugh at these patients.
The thing that made me think of this topic to cover was last night a caller told me had had an apple up his ass. I didn’t think I’d heard correctly, so I asked him to repeat it. Yes, I had heard correctly. My first thought was, what makes one wake up and have the thought, “Today I’m going to shove an apple up my ass”. I honestly cannot imagine.
If you look online you will see no shortage of ones that have tried everything from vegetables, toys, *gulp* small rodents, even live bullets, to cans of body spray. One of the funniest stories I came across was of a clergyman who needed to seek help after a potato up his ass required medical intervention. Not wanting to appear a pervert, he concocted an outlandish tale about hanging curtains in the nude and falling backwards on his kitchen table. Gotta give him an A+ for his creative story!
The embarrassment at having to seek help, the x-rays I saw with everything from pop bottles to toy cars that people had shoved up their ass, I am never ceasing to be amazed at peoples stupidity. The x-ray I saw of a vibrator that got pushed up way too far and the man sought to remove them himself with salad tongs, which then also got stuck. I was laughing at the lunacy of it all.
So the next time you decide to stick something up where the sun don’t shine, think about if you get carried away and can’t get it out and need medical help. Think of the embarrassment!
