Hurts So Good

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One of my callers is very much into torturing his cock and balls. A lot more than just one actually, but they all have their particular ways they like to do things. Some just love pain for the sake of pain. One called the other day and I was laughing at him. He’d slathered a dildo up with icy hot muscle gel and then stuck it up his ass.

He was nearly crying in pain and asked what he should do. I said get an ice cube, run it under warm water to smooth the edges and then stick it up your ass. He did indeed go and do that, but he was nearly crying he was in so much pain and I was laughing and saying well what did you think was going to happen when you put that stuff up your ass? Did you think it was going to feel soothing? No, but I he didn’t think it was going to hurt quite that much, either. So he left to go tend to his ass, no clue what he ended up doing to himself.

Another a few years ago put the icy hot gel on a Q Tip and stuck it down his cock and twirled it around and then said he felt it for three days after every time he went pee. Didn’t surprise me any, it’s odd the things horny guys will do to themselves. Some have had Mistresses hold keys by mail to their cock cages so they can’t get out of them on their own. I guess they could call a locksmith, but that would be pretty embarrassing to call one to your home over, but I’m betting it’s likely happened before.

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Hot GILF For You

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MILF’s are becoming a bit passe, what is taking their place? Why none other than the MILF’s mom! The GILF, the granny you’d love to fuck. Women are taking better care of themselves these days and looking finer than ever for longer than ever, and some men, even really young ones, are appreciating that. Now that’s not to say the average nineteen year old is harboring fantasies of an eighty five year old, but there are more extreme attractions out there than most people would think.

I am all for people being happy, and if a woman old enough to be your grandmother does it for you and everyone is agreeable, then why not, who’s to say what’s acceptable other than the two people involved. Not everyone wants kids, so they very well may not feel cheated if kids and a family are not on offer by the more elderly of the two. The passions that people have for another person will never be understood by anyone other than the ones involved. One of the callers I used to speak to was just enamored of his eighty five year old neighbor and he wanted her very badly and she never knew, it seemed bizarre to me, but he was very serious.

Others have told me women in their seventies have been wetter and had better feeling pussies than girls a third their age and they were driven wild by the horny grannies. Some women face lack of desire issues as they get older and past menopause, but ones can regain some of that if they go on hormone replacement therapy regimes. Not all women wish for the sexual part of their life to be over just because they have reached a certainly year on the calendar birthday wise.

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I Feel Pretty

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Lots of men wish to be feminized. They get of on wearing lingerie and women’s clothes, sometimes just in secret at home when they masturbate, other times under their clothes when they go to work. One said he didn’t feel like he was walking right when he wore men’s underwear, only ladies panties seemed to fit the bill anymore comfort wise.

Some will ask if I’d dress them up if they were my real life boyfriend. Would I do their hair and makeup. I guess they don’t really want to hear that if I walked in on my boyfriend prancing around in makeup and heels and my underwear, he’d be out the door so fast he wouldn’t know what hit him. They seem to want the acceptance that comes along with dressing up, it’s not enough that they dress up, they want a woman to not only accept it, but participate in it. Likely still hungering for mommy’s approval after all these years, and any woman participating will do.

With online shopping now easier than ever, they no longer have to go into actual brick and mortar stores where salesclerks might in the past have turned them away from trying things on, now all they do is shop online for hours and click, click, their purchase is on the way for them to enjoy without even having looked another human being in the eye. It’s al become very convenient and easier, so perhaps more are able to indulge in it now than say fifty years ago, it’s just easier to access the goods with which they practice.

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Food And Masturbation

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There’s many ways to masturbate, food is just one of them, there’s no shortage of pics online of people masturbating with food, bananas, cucumbers, al kinds of things people seem to stick into themselves. It’s not the best idea, the pesticides used on most vegetables and fruits are not something you want to be introducing to your insides. One caller used to use cucumbers and carrots since he was afraid what would happen if his wife ever found a dildo, and he loved sticking things up his ass. Just please don’t eat the veggies after if you stick them into your body.

Toys are wonderful things to masturbate with if you love penetration when you play with yourself, some are flexible enough that they like to insert their own fingers into themselves and many guys are even into the ass to mouth licking of themselves after sticking their fingers in, some are such dirty bastards for sure.

No scene epitomizes fun with food more than the Nine and a Half Weeks scene in front of the fridge, food play can definitely get things playful and sexy real quick. Sex is about fun and intimacy, and being playful with things like whipped cream and chocolate body paints, all kinds of naughty things, can make things even more special. I recall when I was a kid and my mom would get Forum magazine and I’d find them and read them, a story someone had sent in about getting hamburgers and bringing them home from the pickup joint and tearing them up and stuffing them, still warm, hopefully not too hot, into his girlfriend’s pussy and eating them out from between her pussy lips, now that’s a bit messy, but it’s a story I’ve remembered for literally decades.

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Short Of Breath

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I’d been watching this movie the other week that had a choking scene in it, and erotic one, and I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. I even played the scene when my boyfriend came over and he found it arousing as well and I asked if we could try something like that the next time we had sex and he said he’d like to.

We were making love a few hours later and kissing really passionately and running our hands all over each other’s bodies and he slid his cock all the way in up to the balls and he was pounding away and caressing my breast and nipple with his hand and then I felt his hand grip my throat and start to clench and choke me. I could feel it tighten as I gasped for air as he pushed down on my throat. Just when I thought I was going to pass out from lack of air he released his grasp and I never felt so alive, it was a very heightened lovemaking experience and I knew I wanted to try it again.

We experimented with it over the next several nights, how tight to grip, how long to do it for so I wouldn’t actually pass out but cum at the right moment, it was a lot of trial and error and we figured out just how to do it for maximum pleasure. I was placing an awful lot of trust in him to stop when I showed any signs of distress or it was going to far. I did have some fantastic orgasms as we tried that week. It’s not for everyone I know, but I think once in a while to add to your sexual repertoire, why not, can spice things up a bit.

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